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    • Oh! waking is a bitter nightmare..when you constantly hang around the fringes of my dreams..

    ..my foundation is crumbling and shattered glass is falling all over sidewalks..

    ..i am collapsing and i am collapsing on myself.. i am shards of glass..and i am the person being wounded by the glass..

    ..there is a certain beautiful honesty about depression..

    ..will Candy and honey not ..sweeten the Bitter acrimony of life? ..if truth indeed be a fallacy, then should reality not be a lie?

    Truth is like water. A little of it quenches your thirst Too much of it..and you drown.

    Saturday, August 31, 2002

    Its been sometime since Lynn went back to shanghai with her family coz her school term is starting again...
    sighz...its been a few weeks but i kinda miss her already..hehe..Even though shes one of the few persons who can make me SOOOOOO mad sometimes...shes one of the few persons who can make me have so much fun..make me laugh so hard until i forget who i am..or where i am.

    Anywae i hardly have anytime to have fun now coz prelims r like coming..in almost a weeks timel;. I cant believe that time realie flies. It was just a month ago wen i was tinking i had plenty of time..and now im like *damN*..no time.. i haven even started on econs and lit, coz im still struggling with geog which can be a total bore sometimes. I mean, do i look as if i realie care how soil is transported or how limestone is weathered? I still do not see how all these are applicable to me future. Maybe if Im reborn as a rock or a karst landform..but ...reallie..I dun see how all this useless things im learning now is gona affect my future. Anywae, Econs is just as useless...i dont see why i need tto learn all those avc or erm..mrp or dunno wadever u call those (told u i haven touched econs) I dun have to be a fortune teller to see that all those are not going to help me in wad so ever way in the future.

    i had my gp paper on thurs. And it was realie bad.. they asked realie stupid and redundant topics for the essays..haha..okok..maybe im just being sore coz they were all topics i didnt have anything to write on or didnt interest me. But since the entire world was complaning abt how bad and how awful Gp was, i can be now convinced tt im not as stupid and clueless as i once thought..haha. i Hope everyone does badly so they'll moderate..whew*

    went to the dentist on fri. It was teachers day but wad do i care? haha..ok..i sound realie horrible...but well...i dun realie see the significance. Wads the point of going there and giving presents to ur teachers and faking smiles and faking sincerity when it dosent even come from the heart. In that case, i rather not pretend. Wads the point of saying empty "thank yous" to teachers that dun even deserve it. Should i thank these teacers who just base everything on results? Their treatment and opinion abt u is all solely based on results, Good results, anmd they tink u r an angel and they treat u good. BAd results , will equate into u being labelled a juvenile delinquent and subsequent treatment. Ok..im sounding cynical here..wads wrong with me? i guess im realie changing ..
    well..looking at the positive side...some teachers are realie nice and good, so they realie deserve all this goodness. Like my dad used to say, not everyone can be a teacher. There r onli a few rare few good and talented teachers. I totally agree. And the rest of the incompetent lot r just let loose to make our lives a complete misery...heh...they shld be shut up in an asylum..

    oh well..happy teachers day.. and THANK YOU so much CHin B***H for making me realise that pple like u still exist. THANK YOU for letting me see reality as it is. I usually like to think the best of pple..but with u, i find it almost impossible. But hey...becoz i like to tink the best of everyone...thats why i tink of u as a moron.... THANKZZZZ...for bringing out the devil in me..hahahaa

    dawn fairy on the moon at 8/31/2002



    Take the What Cookie Are You? test by Ley

    dawn fairy on the moon at 8/31/2002
    Sunday, August 25, 2002

    okay..LIFE SUCKS
    i noeits a cliche...but i just have to say it again LIFE SUCKS
    i wish i was marooned on a deserted island and then i can do yoga fer one month and de-stress myself
    im so frustrated i just feel like screaming at the top of my lungs until im hoarse! HAIZ...i just feel SOOOO FRUSTRATED..it must be all tt stress from the up and coming A levels and prelims. SCrew it la...ive never been so upset and stressed before..not even during the Os..im alwaes usually quite a heck it type of person and bo chup too.

    i need to find the peace man..u noe..like this inner peace crap thingy..where pple to go relaxation sessions and some theraphy de-stressing sessions...sighz.

    i havent gone out fer like weeks! IM GOING MAD MAD MAD
    IM GOING NUTS!
    I NEED TO GO OUT I NEED TO GO SHOPPING I NEED TO DO SOMETING ELSE THEN STARE AT MY BOOKS

    im so used to going out almost everday and every single weekend that now im like at home TRYING to study, i feel like im going mad. Im just not used to this. And just wen i tot my parents were getting cooler...they r acting so uptight and like its the end of the world.. i feel so choked up, so confined its like i cannot breathe. i need to be free..i cant stand being confined...doing something i dun even wanna do its like i dont have a choice or a say in my life. oh sighz, i tink they'll regret when i get lead into woodbridge with a straightjacket. i can almost hear my mum's voice "life is not all about having fun" but i realised that if i dun even have abit of fun ill go mad

    well..maybe ill just pretend that learning about rocks and limestones are the greatest thrills in my life..and i draw graphs and curves to get my kicks..maybe i can just pretend that studying is fun..so someday. hopefully by the A levels ill truely be able to delude myself into thinking so.

    sighz...if im already like that now..how to go uni? wont i just go totally insane by the time i reach that level?

    dawn fairy on the moon at 8/25/2002
    Saturday, August 24, 2002

    sometimes my dad just makes me so mad. He was going on acting like mr dictator-wad-i-say-is-the-final and i-have-ur-future-mapped-out-for-you and ur-sister-is-sister. Anywae it was geting late and i realie didnt wanna start an argument with him so i just had to bite back my toungue and jus listen to him silently! i dun tink he respects my decisions at all or wad i tink lor. I tink hes in some sorta time warp. i mean i tink he still tinks im like a seven year old kid lor. knowing how absent minded he is. he probabaly forgot how old i am. He chucks me with adult responsibilities and then treats me like a kid. i didnt see him treating my sister this way wen she was my age!
    anywae hes alwaes so biased im so used to it i dun even bother arguing anymore. wads the point?

    anywae...btw...EUGENE..if u r reading this...i just wanna let u noe im damn unlucky to have u as a fren..hahahaha..kidding la....oh well..anywae i dunno wad ive done to deserve this...helping u to chase a gal..fancy thaT! anywae if at the end of the day she still dosent appreciate it im realie gona get my gang to fix her maN! okok..so i dun have a gang...but i can alwaes start one!!! anywae, my answer to ur message is... u dunnit to flatter me and sweet talk me anymore..i noe u cant fool me..haha
    i wont be there nicest girl u will ever noe in ur entire life...BECAUSE....that girl will be MEL..haha...ive exposed u..ur sweet talk dosent work anymore..
    try again next time :OP~

    dawn fairy on the moon at 8/24/2002
    Monday, August 19, 2002

    i finally know how it feels like to be an "onli child" sort of. and boy does it feel good. Wad have i been missing out fer the past 18 years? now i noe why all my only child frends feel so good...coz its indeed great to be an onli child!
    my sis has been gone fer a couple of days (to canada) and finally my parents r paying more attention to me and being nicer to me. haha..maybe they realise they dun have a choice coz im the onli one in singapore now..
    well ..still it feels good fer them to pay attention to me coz wen my sis was in singapore they used to pay more attention to her. I know its realie bad but i wish i cld be an only child..hahaha ..FOREVER... ok ok..i deserve to die...i wun be mean to my sis.. but still..i cant stop feeling tt slight twinge wenever my parents focus more on my sis..and PLUS now shes overseas they r like superly gan chiong over her..sighz...so sometimes they just seem more concerned abt her then me...well..wad to do. wen u've got a sibling..uve got to learn to share!
    how i admire single child families! hehe.. plus my sister isnt even a nice playmate so theres no bonus here!

    anywaez...guess wad? my mum dosent like chin b***H at all so shes on my side now! hahaha...im like so happy..i rem my mum used to alwaes side with her..and she would never see or understand my side of the story..i mean she used to alwaes tink i was jus trying to be funny and i was bad...but now she is seeing things from my point of view! ..oh well..it took a year to convince her. yesterdae, i told my mum abt one of those horrid things tt chin did to me and my mum was quite shocked and disgusted to her.. well i cldnt help it..i was just being honest..but now my mum is finally coming towards my side im quite relived.
    she told me to ignore the horrible chin and kick her butt ( i mean she didnt put it in these words...but somewad like tt)

    rite..anywae...i will survive...somehow out of this mess...ill pick up the pieces and carry on...and this time i wun let anyone get me down...in the past i would have given up...backed out...quitted. but theres no turning back now coz im going to fight back...to show them how ill survive...and to show them then i havent lost the spirit... as vulnerble as my heart always is..somehow i know time will make me a stronger person. Then ill prove her wrong. that i, dawn wong am worth something. Im worth more then that. Im worth more then u..

    and wen i get thru all this..
    maybe ill see that some dreams do come true..and maybe happiness isnt soo impossible anymore.. :O)

    dawn fairy on the moon at 8/19/2002
    Thursday, August 15, 2002


    ~Find Your Beauty Aura~

    dawn fairy on the moon at 8/15/2002

    I WAS A HAPPY CHILD
    lucky you. you were what every child should be.
    carefree. optimistic. and happy.
    what kind of child were you?
    (brought you by april)


    yeah..i guess i was..
    but where is tt girl now? that happy child?
    sometimes i realie wish i could return to childhood..

    dawn fairy on the moon at 8/15/2002
    Saturday, August 10, 2002


    dawn fairy on the moon at 8/10/2002

    dawn fairy on the moon at 8/10/2002
    Friday, August 09, 2002


    dawn fairy on the moon at 8/09/2002

    dawn fairy on the moon at 8/09/2002

    dawn fairy on the moon at 8/09/2002

    dawn fairy on the moon at 8/09/2002

    dawn fairy on the moon at 8/09/2002


    dawn fairy on the moon at 8/09/2002

    Which Of Our Beloved Movies Are You? by Hannah & Rachel



    i love the movie!

    dawn fairy on the moon at 8/09/2002

    I'm so preppy!
    Take the The "What Teen Label Do You Fit Into Most?" Quiz!
    by antiperfect

    dawn fairy on the moon at 8/09/2002
    Thursday, August 08, 2002

    i will love geog!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    (sometimes after looking at my notes i wunder how is tt possible ever)

    i will love econs!
    (for now i do coz its been a month since i touched my book..but once i do......oh no..)

    i will love school!
    (although it seems that sometimes sch makes the asylum look pretty good)


    i told M to tell his gf to stop making up malicious rumours and gossip abt me. I tink ive been tolerating her nonsense fer so long ...
    theres is realie a limit to one's patience lor. i havent even done anything to her..never evensaid anything abt her...fer goodness sakes...i DUNT EVEN KNOW THE GAL.. AND she dosent even know me. But shes talking like she knows me la. and im figuring : like hello?? doi know u? coz ure talking like u know me realie personally ya. why r u telling ME abt ME?
    she seems to be more interested abt my life then her own. but maybe its coz she dosent have one. Ok..im sorry..i tink im being extremely mean but i cant realie help it la. when a gal u dun even know makes u the victim of her malicious untrue gossip and goes arnd telling pple not to talk to u i tink i do have a right to be annoyed, esp since i havent done anything to her la. i mean even after i found out abt all her nonsense i didnt even say anything bad abt her la. but this time ive had it! Anywae i asked Lynn was to do and she suggested tt i bitch abt her too and spread gossip abt her. But this is madness. I'll never stoop to that level of lowness. Ive better things to do like waiting fer paint peel. sighz..

    i dun understand why pple take so much pleasure in hurting other pple?
    why? is someone else's pain a source of their joy? is this realie the only way pple can get their kicks. Oh well dawn, welcum to the real world.
    i was annoyed at her at first coz my patience wore thin..but now im just sad becoz i dun understand why pple enjoy such stuff. is it realie worth it at someone else's expense? maybe they just doesnt realise it......tt it makes other pple hurt..


    well...somedae justice will prevail..

    ...but fer now...

    ..ill just continue being me..

    dawn fairy on the moon at 8/08/2002
    Sunday, August 04, 2002

    i will learn to love geography even if it kills me
    (its not a will...its a must)


    i love econs!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    (somedae ill truly believe it)

    econs rocks my world !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    (somedae ill have to learn to stop deceiving myself)

    i will love geography
    (the power of a person's will)

    "sleep is a paradise...."
    "no...sleep is only a paradise if reality is a nightmare to you"

    "oh well then..i guess sleep is a paradise after all........"

    "i love sleeping..coz u get to dream"
    "then i guess it depends on wad u dream of rite?"
    "maybe if it was the opposite of reality i wldnt mind sleeping more then"

    "how can u wake up from a nightmare wen ure nightmare is reality?"
    "how can u wake up frm reality...if u are already awake?"
    " will somebody wake me up from this nightmare?"
    "i guess e onli time i will wake up frm this nightmare is when i start is wen i start sleeping....forever"


    is that a paradox?
    or am i on the brink of insanity?
    or am i just being pure crappy...

    dawn fairy on the moon at 8/04/2002
    Thursday, August 01, 2002

    CHIN B***H called my parents up. then my dad went over to sch to have a talk with her. ArgH...
    i knew that spelt trouble.. Big trouble..
    anywae wen my dad got at home, he didnt seem angry at all! in fact, he seemed to behave in a very pleasant manner towards me. i was so scared he'd start yelling at me, but he didnt.
    anywae, i just had a talk with my parents. it turned out surprsingly well. My mum wanted me to get an A or B fer econs. And i told her i will get 3 As. and she was very happy. Goodness i am so dead now. Me and my big mouth!
    Anywae, im so glad coz my parents actually dun support CHIN B***H and i tink in a way they do support me. Im so glad...anywae, i told them abt how i actually felt inside, and abt how horrid chin B***H was..ok..i mean STILL IS, and my mum kinda agreed. Or maybe shes just trying to make me happy...haha
    anywae it feels like this burden has been lifted from my heart. I promised my mum that i would stop slacking and i would work hard. This dosent sound like me. i tink ive been possessed. I guess its no more parties and drinking anymore, and more focus on religion. I guess my Mum would be happier this way. Sighz..im gona turn into a nerd fer 3 months then i guess...



    i still dun like CHIN. but hey...at least i tried to like her... but after wad she did to me and said...u cant reallie blame me fer not exactly loving her rite?

    dawn fairy on the moon at 8/01/2002